July is National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. As this month comes to a close, I’m seeing more reasons and fresh inspiration to highlight this awareness. From high-level news within the 2021 Olympics with Simone Biles taking a pause to focus on her mental health along with other mentions of the stress of Olympic athletes (view apnews.com article), to a here-at-home personal connection with my family members who have been struggling recently, I honor the unbelievably powerful, the unrecognizably fragile, and the humbly heroic. What our bodies, minds and spirits have shown all throughout history is that we are a dynamic being that can learn to manage this complicated life – sometimes with grace, other times without a line to tether to an agreed reality.
Do we make assumptions around how someone should handle the ever-present mental health challenges in this world? Add denial and stigma, and those who suffer with mental illness may choose to hide within the loud dissonance of modern culture and for a while, act like all is ok. But for those who struggle with their mental health and experience a disruption in life, it is an ongoing cycle that doesn’t seem to follow the reliable and predictable movements of sunrise and sundown. The more knowledge and awareness that is brought forward, the less reactive and more sensible we can be around supporting the mental health and well-being of ourself and others. It wasn’t that long ago that being gay was seen as a mental disorder for example. Why is choosing to take a break from the race of life seen as a failure? How did life ramp up so quickly where the competitive mind is always the hero? Is this the part of the survival self that can never be satisfied while seeking pleasure in the material world?
Stress of life varies so wildly. Most of us will never understand the extreme pressure that Simone Biles experiences as a world champion for example. It’s as though our happiness depends on her success and we expect a person to become like a machine. And when a person excels so uncommonly due to hard work and discipline, almost like a machine, our expectations are boosted. Then the stress of winning becomes infused in the public’s and trainer’s minds and we rely on winning to feel good, to feel like life is as we want it to be. Or we rely on some other marker of external cueing. (It was reassuring to read how much support Simone received from her trainer and the world at large).
But the outside world will always fail us at some point or another, because life is like a pendulum that swings and we’re not in absolute control of it. What if we could position our Highest Self as a witness to this swinging pendulum while our small self jumps on the ride and goes with the flow because that’s all it knows what to do? We don’t have to do much to cultivate the small self, that part of us is ruled by an ego that protects at all costs, that pushes for survival and adapts to circumstance. The Higher Self needs time to be connected with, to be recognized, so it isn’t the knee-jerk part of us ruling our life. It requires cultivating some sort of practice or discipline that helps us understand the value of being present. We gain insight that helps us navigate this world of change by tapping into that inner knowingness that can be an ever-present resource of truth.
With another perspective on stress, I’ve noticed how my mom’s stress sounds surprisingly manageable to me, but to her it feels insurmountable at times. How can I be more sympathetic and recognize that we all cope differently and based on our life’s journey, we all handle and manage stress as best we’ve learned, whether high-level Olympic stress or day to day stress of someone elderly. There is something relative here to how our nervous systems and sense of self in this world intertwine.
Mental health as an open topic for our overall well-being, has been a slow-moving conversation. As I’ve learned and witnessed in my mother’s journey, the stigma of mental health affected her deeply as a young teen. The western medical world was still sorting things out in the mid-50’s, how could the general public have a grasp on what it meant? Treatments were dramatic attempts to redirect the electric signals in the brain, many still used to some degree today. Now, the pharmaceutical companies have made a fortune around mental health and while on one hand I’m very grateful for the support of pharmaceuticals, on the other I’m saddened that it’s such a huge driver of our capitalist society.
Much of the stigma around mental health has lessened, but I do notice my mom’s protective reflex that burdens her daily functions when sharing honestly and plainly around her current peers. It sounds like she feels unsafe to truly share these details and prefers to only show up when she is the cheery one. She is worried of what others will think and prefers to stay quiet and suffer in silence than to risk sharing her mental health challenges. My mom is white and in some ways, she has so much privilege to be thankful for in this world. But at the same time, I still see how much she has struggled to find acceptance and peace. My hope is that this stigma will continue changing into compassionate understanding. I look forward to a day when we will talk about this enough until it is recognized as healthy, inspiring ways to be true human beings together.
As I was coming to terms with being gay as a young teen, to some degree, I felt a similar external stress and internal turmoil which led to being suicidal and running away from home. I felt I would rather die than live a failed life, which is what I thought being gay meant. Today, I’m able to appreciate the past as a teacher and that through counseling, spiritual practice and 12-step recovery, I’m certain life’s meaning is deeper and more profound because of all that happened. I’m so grateful for all who came before me that helped break much of the stigma and prejudice of LGBTQ+ in America and to some extent, across the globe. My hope is that as we all speak up and speak out on the various things that have been strangled by stigma, we will move more and more towards a more compassionate and caring culture. I am thankful for the healing work that helps me be a more compassionate person with my mom and to support her well-being as best as I can.
From the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI.org):
Mental health conditions do not discriminate based on race, color, gender or identity. Anyone can experience the challenges of mental illness regardless of their background. However, background and identity can make access to mental health treatment much more difficult. Bebe Moore Campbell National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month was established in 2008 to start changing this.
Mental illness affects:
- 14% of Asian adults
- 17% of Black adults
- 18% of Hispanic/Latinx adults
- 32% of multiracial adults
- 44% of LGB adults
Trans adults are nearly 12x more likely to attempt suicide than the general population. We need to end mental health discrimination so no one feels alone in their struggle. #NotAlone
Sexual and gender minority individuals and people of color have less access to appropriate mental health services, meaning they are less likely to receive necessary high-quality care. This needs to change. #MMHAM
This ongoing pandemic continues to escalate the awareness of mental health. It is shocking how this has truly become an ongoing lifestyle change for the human experience across the globe. It defies so much of what most of us have grown to understand in what it means to be social beings as we’ve all had to adjust in some way or another. Not just the physical adjustments of social distancing, but the effects of that on everyone’s mental well-being and sense of humanity. The internet can be a great resource when looking for help online if used wisely and judiciously, and the CDC includes some ideas to help understand and manage this stress too.
My brother, who like me is Hapa – half Japanese, half white, and is navigating through some mental health challenges right now, which in some ways are new, in some ways aren’t new but were undiagnosed and not as easily recognized in earlier years. It has been challenging to know how much to show up for him and how much to guide him towards services that are skilled to help people in his situation. We are lucky in the Bay Area to have a number of resources available and so it’s made it easier to sort out. But it’s also heart-breaking to see someone struggle to find their way when much of the world is set up for a certain sort of success. When basic needs are a struggle and the mind is stuck trying to figure out how to survive day to day, there is little room for expansive thinking. I’m so grateful that I have been coached in many different areas of my life to have the resources I do now, and to share my home with my brother for now. I don’t have many hours in the day to offer, but thankfully I do have physical space to keep him safe and close. I’m happy to see that his outlook has been improving and with zoom support meetings and local services, he has been living a better life these days.
My father, who I’ve mostly been estranged from my entire life, has been recently diagnosed with dementia. After a spontaneous decision to call last year on Father’s Day, I learned that he had had a stroke and was moving into some life challenges with dementia and being relocated to a senior home. I’ve had more heart to heart conversations with him in the last year than I think I’ve had my entire life. It feels like he is becoming more focused on his mortality than his material goals and efforts to impress. He is the Japanese father that I got to know mostly through the lens of his professional achievements versus a nurturing, supportive nature. He is first generation Japanese and worked hard to create a successful life in the scientific world which included having a mountain range in Victoria Land, Antarctica named after his discovery and research there – Morozumi Range. He was an aerospace engineer with GE and created a sister city exchange between Gifu, Japan and Cincinnati amongst many other things. But as he is declining, the family that he was a part of has reached out to me for support. Sadly, there isn’t much life connection there, but there certainly is blood connection and truly just a heart-breaking time for him. Thankfully, there is help being provided in Cincinnati and services to support him. Being far away in distance and emotional connection, I’ve made effort to call regularly and to keep in touch with what is happening as he is being cared for. I wish he could be around others like him whether in terms of race and previous history of achievement, but it is simply good that he is being placed in a facility that will look after him.
My uncle on my father’s side, also struggled with his mental health. I was given his name as my middle name, Masao and though I barely knew him, I’m happy to keep some connection with my family lineage with his name as part of mine along with the Morozumi name. Masao was an artist and from what I understand, didn’t manage so well once he moved from Japan to the U.S. I only saw him once in my childhood and knew then of his instability. I’m told by my father that he died last year in Japan due to COVID. I think when my father lost his brother, it shifted his relationship to this world. They weren’t very close, I imagine in part due to the challenges with Masao’s mental health, but it was his only other living blood connection.
With so many mental health challenges in my family, I often wonder if I’m handling life ok. I usually reflect on my running away and suicidal years and feel grateful for all that I learned from then, all that those years taught me. Being able to go to a performing arts school from 6-12th grades, and then a college for art and design, and then to have a career in dance….sometimes, I think that was ALL there as life therapy to help me shift and transform, to understand myself and what it means to be here on this planet. It’s wild that my professional path in life has always been supportive of me being me. And it wasn’t always easy or stress free – it took great discipline and hard work as it does to this day. There were many times when I was deeply unhappy and struggled to make ends meet or to feel like I was on the right path. But from my event work jobs and now full-time path as a yoga teacher and wellness entrepreneur, it feels like a miracle to have each day and to follow my heart with what I do and who I am. It feels more important to think of how I can be of service in this world than what can I get from this world.
I have seen how courageous and strong my father, my mother and my brother have been as they navigate in this world. It’s humbling and sobering. I know that not everyone can have access to the life therapy that I feel that I had, even as I’ve seen within my own family. It’s strange and unpredictable how things become what they are. It’s a path of honoring the unique experience that everyone has while also holding one another with universal kindness. Who knows why we are here and if we could ever agree on the purpose and reason? We each can only handle what we can handle and it is important to honor that and do what we can to support our mind and body to be at their best. I like moving away from the good and bad thinking, even the should and shouldn’t ways of being and to land in a place where we can become wiser, stronger, healthier and more kind, one day at a time in any way that we can access. May we find the support and direction in life that guides us towards a clear vision of what is possible for life on this planet. It might be that all we ultimately know how to do is blow each other up because so much has been damaged on nearly every major corner of the world. But I know we also have it within us, to love and transform that into something that could create the most profound healing. One step at a time, in our own circle of life, it’s a pattern that can break.
Serve, Love, Give, Purify, Meditate, Realise; Be good, Do good, Be kind, Be compassionate. – Swami Sivananda
Let’s stay connected,
Marc
