It’s frightening to imagine the situation in Afghanistan right now. The news is staying up to the minute with whether or not we can make the August 31st deadline to help move more people out of the country. The Taliban says they aim to be more tolerant and wish for citizens to stay and help the country be a strong country and to keep their homes and jobs. But, history makes it difficult and nearly impossible to trust that. While leaving a home, a culture, a way of life and becoming a refugee with an unknown future seems against what one might wish for, it’s telling when that is the chosen path right now.
The worst of life can be unimaginable for so many of us. Some of us are protected and shielded from these harms. Some of us have grown up only seeing this from a distance. And some of us have chosen to dive in to help with only a second-hand understanding of it. I find it mind-boggling that what it means for one person to be on this earth can be an incomprehensible reality for someone else. And as it might be, a person in misery might not be able to even imagine living a life where there isn’t extreme suffering. There is a great surplus of darkness on this planet and it has never not been here. We are only more aware of it because of the advances in technology and social media. For that, we have put it to good use in order to get information across the world in seconds. We know to speak up and speak out for those who are suffering the moment our hearts have room to care about those with less access, less power, less of a voice and less of a chance at life than we have. So what can we do to help others have a fighting chance at surviving?
I’ve learned that I can get completely immersed in things, taking all of my focus and attention to whatever my mind is drawn to in a given moment. So much so, that the hours of the day pass and things that I wanted to do or be with, are left for the next day, and then the next, and the next. I’m learning how I’d like to be more thoughtful about how I spend the hours in my day so that I still have time and energy to put effort towards what I feel is important. A work in progress even as I am challenged each week to maintain my writing practice! If I’m always attending to the louder, more obvious things, I might miss taking care of the more subtle and potentially more important things. Sometimes, watching the news turns into and endless pit, and I’m not getting work done. Sometimes, I’m working non-stop and not staying tuned in to what’s going on around me. A daily practice of finding the right amount of time for each and recognizing there is no right or wrong…just a noticing and learning.
Some things don’t work like clockwork and our bodies can only respond to the level that our energy is directed. Our energy is governed by our thoughts, and therefore the input we receive and our ability to interpret it and navigate with it, determines a level of physical and mental output. And what governs the mind? Through Integral Yoga as well as in the Taittiriya Upanishad, I’ve learned of the 5 Koshas, or sheaths of the self. These move from the gross to the subtle and discuss how the more subtle sheaths govern the gross. The body, our physical being is known as the most dense, gross layer, followed by 2. the energy body, 3. mental body, 4. intellectual body and finally 5. bliss body. When we die, we only lose the most gross layer, the physical body known as the annamayakosha or the food body. We truly become the energy of what we eat. So we do our best in this lifetime to care for this vehicle for the time being, but we also would do well to put effort towards that which will remain beyond this very limited form. Is life only about pain and pleasure, or is there something more? The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali speak of the painless state, where we have the ability to see with the eyes of equanimity. The pathway that is shared – practice and non-attachment. These two are lifelong practices that only offer insight by way of continuous, sincere effort. Through this, we have the chance to move beyond total reliance on this dualistic world and connect with our highest teacher and most profound touchstone of existence. More and more, this feels like the reason to practice as the body is no longer the sole mission in life to preserve. It once was that way for me when I was a dancer with a particular mindset, largely due to life experience. Now, self-care is about just the right amount of maintenance so that I can put effort into the right amount of energy into all the areas of my day, including sleep!
There are certainly times when my personal practice of yoga and meditation required more dedication and I wasn’t of much use without 90 or more minutes being spent this way. At least, that’s what seemed to be the case and I believe a great amount of healing happened and a great amount of strength and self-discovery came forward. I needed to learn how to come home to my own body that I was learning more and more how to live into. Nowadays, my main emphasis is on brief meditations and being of service with teaching yoga and currently, teaching a new BIPOC Yoga Teacher Training hoping to bring 27 new teachers into Integral Yoga’s sangha. I’ve looked at what is available to me and sharing the tools and practices for others to break free of patterns and habits feels to be a calling. Some leading force of this world has historically prevented our sense of safety and physical ownership, sending messages that we don’t belong, or our body isn’t the right size, shape, color, gender, race, etc. So learning how to land at home with the self feels like a great journey. Yoga then offers that once that happens, the journey is to bring this as service to others. Rather than lock up in a safe Yoga bubble, it’s a practice of self-transformation with the aim of a greater, universal transformation.
So even our spiritual practices can become a golden crutch if we aren’t able to understand what the full practice was created to be. In Yoga, many use the practice to retreat inwards, to develop a shield against dealing with life. Which is ironic, because finding the practice likely helped us find refuge when all wasn’t well. But rather than practice for the sake of transformation, we might practice and stay in the place that shields us from our life, feeling that we need that in order to live. But I think there’s a developmental path here and in time, our own healing becomes the springboard for others’ healing.
There are millions who are practicing some minutes of some sort of uplifting practice. There are many who have other means that are dedicated to raising the vibration of personal and universal well-being. And it seems that these help us to remember the main resource that is able to rise from within – we are connected to something greater than our own limited resources. I’ve written about my running away experience and it was on that journey that I realized the home I was running away from was more of the one I couldn’t find within myself. Once I began to build a better relationship with that, I was able to physically return home and begin a new chapter of life. I wasn’t being forced out of my home by anyone when I ran away. It was my own demon that led my mind to suicide. But that dance with death was a strange reality check that I will never forget. When I think of anyone who is running away, this always comes up as a reflection.
For those who are fleeing for their life, I pray that a greater resource will help them locate a sense of safety by having a way to feel the support by all of us, by the people and countries around them who wish for their successful escape – that resource of something greater that we can contribute to in our own way. And may we have space in our hearts and time in our day where we can be filled with hope and support for those who are struggling rather than feeling weighed down and helpless. Whether through prayer, financial donation or by not over-indulging in life or denying reality. Our daily actions cast a vote for what we support and consciously or often unconsciously bring forward into the world. We continue to see a world in crisis and a reason to want to disengage and comfort ourselves. This is a natural reaction in many ways in order to protect our very existence and soothe our nervous systems. May the winds of awareness move to focus our energy in whatever way will keep us awake and not put us into a trance, even with our own spiritual practices. May we find the home within our heart that helps us recognize that we are on this planet together as a global community.
Let’s stay connected,
Marc
